Putting on the brakes

I’m glad to introduce you to Lauren McCarthy Nagler. She came to L’Arche after university “for a few months”. That was over four years ago. She has a ton of talents and is a model for the quality of life and love that she both gives and receives in L’Arche, especially in her relationships with people who have a disability.

Nathan

Putting On The Brakes

Do I need to slow down? Probably, yes.

I live my life in high gear. I work, study and am constantly on the run. I am notorious for planning to do six things in an evening, when realistically I will get only one or two done, and generally cannot stop “doing” for more than a few moments at a time.

I love this constant fullness, the life and energy that I get from all I do. But, often I hate it – it is draining, exhausting, confining – and feel like despite it all, I am missing out on that which fills the space which is not filled.

Do I need to slow down? Probably, yes.

I moved a month ago and since then, I have been losing, damaging or breaking at least one thing every day. At first I thought I was just having a bad run. I laughed it off when I broke a wine glass at our housewarming party, and then the next day broke a delicate sugar bowl we had just received as a gift.

However, the incidences of destruction continued until recently my lunch bag landed in a puddle as I pulled my backpack out of the car, and then I spilled wax all over my favourite jeans.

Ok. I surrender! This is not coincidental. There is a lesson for me here; I just do not know what it is.

Feeling confused and helpless, I now live in constant anticipation of the next occurrence, but am still unable to stop it from happening. What do I need to learn before I can change this pattern?

My friend wisely suggested perhaps it is not just one thing: I need to slow down and pay more attention. Simple to say but daunting to accomplish; both seem like goals which cannot be achieved in a lifetime, let alone through a quick fix.

Nevertheless, maybe my recently acquired klutziness is a pointed reminder that although these goals may never be achievable, entirely, they are always worth striving for.

Maybe this new year and new apartment are calling me to live more fully by living more simply in both what I do and how I do it. The wine glass is replaceable but the moment, once passed is gone forever.

Lauren